Many who come to my website may not realize that I am the mother of 2 autistic sons. As a psychic medium, I have often times had other people say that if I was psychic, I would have known how my kids would be, and would have chose not to have them. But I did know, and chose to have them anyway, because God had a plan for these souls to be here in this way. I was actually asked by an angel before my first autistic son was conceived, “What would you do if you were given a child that was not what was considered normal?” My reply was simply, “I would love him.” Yes, I said him. I just knew he would be a boy, and he was.
You see, we plan for so many things in our lives while still on the other side of the veil, before we get here. There are lessons for many to learn through my children. Everything in this world has a purpose and it would be selfish of me to not allow these dear souls to come in, just because I might face some challenges with special needs children that others do not have to.
By replying that I would love him, I was giving my permission to be given this child. The timing was strange, as I had many miscarriages, and had given up on having a second child, but at an almost impossible timing, I ended up pregnant with my son Jonathan. I would spend the rest of my pregnancy having dreams about Jonathan and just how ‘different’ my son would be. Many would tell me I was simply scared, because I had miscarried so many times, but I knew that was not the case.
When Jonathan was born, however, everything seemed perfect. He seemed normal and healthy. He scored higher on the Newborn Apgars than any of my kids did, including my always advanced for her age, genius I.Q. daughter.
But as time went on, Jonathan seemed very slow on his physical development. He did not sit up alone till he was about 10 months, and even worse, he did not walk till he was almost 2. Something did not seem quite right physically. At about 13 to 14 months, Jonathan seemed to finally be taking off with his speech. Learning new words every day. Telling me things like “I love you”. But then, at around 18 months, something strange happened. Everything I taught him, everything we worked on was disappearing. His language was disappearing. I would grasp at straws trying to teach my son things he already knew and realizing they were just simply gone. It was like part of him was gone as well. I could talk to him, and sometimes, it was as if he was looking right through me and I was not even there.
From the loss of his words on, he started showing more and more strange behaviors. He would try to spend time in corners away from others, he would make strange, repetitive noises, he would stare at his hands for hours, as if they were the most interesting thing on this earth, an activity known as stimming. I would call his name again and again to get his attention, and he would not even look at me. He would wake us up late at night, laughing uncontrollably for no apparent reason. I did not understand what was happening to my child and his doctor at the time was so bad, he kept telling me that my son would catch up and nothing was wrong. I knew better.
Now this is probably the only time you will hear someone say they took their child who receives military benefits away from a highly recognized civilian pediatrician and brought them to military doctors instead, but that is what my intuition told me to do, in order to get my son the help I knew he needed. One appointment with a military pediatrician and my son was put on a waiting list to go to Mississippi for a full evaluation by a team of specialists. People wait forever for these appointments and travel from all over the country to be seen. We were told it would take 6 months to receive a call for an appointment, but we were delighted to get the call in 3 and be seen only 4 months later in Mississippi.
A day had passed just before changing Jonathan’s doctor where I saw a movie with an autistic child. I do not remember the name of this movie, but Valerie Bertinelli stared as the mother of an autistic boy in it. The performance of the boy in this movie was very well done. 5 minutes into the movie, I was in tears, because while the boy in the movie was supposed to be much older, I finally knew what my son had. It matched. He had autism. I immediately got online and started looking for any and all information I could find on autism.
So, the day came to take my son in for his evaluation with an extensive panel of doctors, therapists, psychologists, geneticists, etc. in Mississippi. One of the doctors point blank asked me what I thought might be wrong. I confidently told him that I KNOW my son has autism. After a long, full day of extensive testing, they came back to tell us that indeed, we were dealing with a case of Broad Spectrum Autism.
Sadly, my son Jonathan is and always has been labeled as a moderate to severe case of autism. His speech has never really returned back to what it was before 18 months old and he has been labeled with speech apraxia. He is considered a non-verbal autistic. He has a very sensitive system, and suffers from high risk, severe food allergies as well.
Now that he is 12, he typically says a only a few small words. There are many struggles with Jonathan, as he does many things others can not understand. At times he can be very destructive. He can make things tremendously difficult for his teachers, therapists, and family members. As he is beginning to go through puberty and change, he is becoming more aggressive at times, as well. There have been days I have wondered how I will ever manage to get through his entrance to adulthood.
Still, with all of Jonathan’s problems through his life, there has always been something different about him. He has the amazing aura of the crystal child, containing every color of the rainbow. The theory on crystal children is that they have been sent here simply to teach unconditional love. It is believed these children are coming in more now than ever, because this is an important time, and we need to learn. Many of these children come in with special needs. These are not children here to learn a lesson themselves. They have already learned their lessons, and are much higher beings than the rest of us, simply here with a mission to teach others through their disabilities.
Not only can I see that my son Jonathan has this special aura, but there is something in his eyes that I do not see in my other children’s eyes. All 3 of my children are beautiful, but when I look in Jonathan’s eyes, I get a sense of a soul with purpose that developed far beyond my understanding. The depth of that soul within is that of an angel, containing more love, sacrifice, knowledge, and understanding than most of us could ever imagine. I know it seems hard to believe, but I know that under the mask of autism there is a divine being, which I get to sense through my sons eyes. I was, in fact blessed, to be given the privilege to be the mother of one of God’s special angels, sent here to teach so many.
Jonathan has started middle school this year, and is attending a local center school for special needs children. This is a big change for Jonathan, compared to the elementary school he attended before with his brother. Every time Jonathan faces changes in his life, it is more challenging for him, because he can not communicate enough to get an understanding of the changes. Professionals say that children like this are reacting, because they do not feel a sense of control in their environment, not being able to communicate about it and not really understanding what will happen next. So naturally, Jonathan is reacting as a typical non-verbal child would. He no longer has his brother there, who often would communicate for him, so this adds additional strain to Jonathan’s situation. Jonathan’s behavior has went down everywhere since school started.
So, one morning recently, I received a prompting from spirit to pray for my son and with my son. This surprised me, because most the time, when I have tried to pray with him, he has shown no interest, so over time, I honestly gave up on doing it with him. Still, I always try to do what I am guided to, and so, I prayed with my usually, non-attentive son.
It was a simple prayer, thanking Heavenly Father for the day ahead, and asking that he help Jonathan to be able to behave and cooperate for his teachers, bus drivers, and therapists that day. To my surprise, he looked up at me, and I could see he was truly listening. I ended the prayer asking for these blessings humbly and sincerely, in the name of Jesus Christ. To which, my son, actually responded for the first time ever, “Amen”. I was so surprised and so proud of him!
There was a sense of calm in the room with us, and as I looked in my sons eyes, just as I had so many times before, I could again see that divine soul that is hidden beneath the veil of autism. I knew my son was going to have a fabulous day, and he did. He received a really good report from school, the aide on the bus said he behaved so well, and the speech therapist kept him way past time, and apologized for keeping him so long. She said he was so wonderful that day, and that he wanted to help her clean her office, so she let him. This was extremely different, because normally she brings Jonathan out early, because of behavior issues. Now, I am a firm believer in prayer, and clearly our morning prayer had made a difference.
To those who are parents out there, never give up. Every child has potential for good things, no matter who they are. Focus your intentions toward God and he will be there for you and your children. After all, our Heavenly Father knows what it is like to be a frustrated parent, concerned for their child. He is the Spirit Father to all of us, as we are the parents to our offspring. We are here, as parents, learning to be more like our Heavenly Parents. It is only natural to ask our Heavenly Parents for help now and then, just as our children will often come to us for help.
Jonathan and I will be touching base with God before he goes off to school in the morning from now on. There is always hope, and through God, that hope can be reached for all of us.